Balance sports have always been a passion of mine. Skateboarding, snowboarding and climbing (which has just as much to do with balance as it does strength and agility). Slack lining is a great way to develop balance and core strength, but there are myriad other ways including balance boards.

Growing up, my bestest buddy Jason had a Bongo board. The both of us took a few spills in the garage, but eventually couldn’t be budged off the damned thing. Flash forward 15 years later and I’m living in Newport, RI – home of the Rolo Board. Everyone in Newport knew about them and the inside joke was a Rolo Board sticker was as good as a parking pass (Newport being a tourist trap, the police generate a windfall from parking tickets).

One Fall President Clinton was in town and I was lucky enough to meet him. As he worked his way down the meet-and-greet line, I saw people give him small gifts. I deftly searched my pockets (no reason to alarm the secret service) looking for something – anything to give WJC. I had a fresh stack of Rolo stickers – my friend Scamp was tight with the guy making the Rolos – so I handed one to the President explaining the importance of the sticker – what with it being from a local small business and all.

“Watch this,” he told me. “Somebody give me a Sharpie!” The White House photographer produced a Sharpie in an instant and our 42nd president signed the sticker with a flourish. We posed together, with me holding the Rolo sticker next to the man who wasn’t bad at balancing a budget. I gave the sticker to Scamp so he could give it to his friend. I thought it would be a cool and he might pin-it-up on the wall. The next day I had a brand new Rolo board as thanks.

The Rolo board was a big improvement from the Bongo of yore (note: Bongo makes modern versions now as well). With a concave deck and upturned nose/tail as well as bungees that hold the dowel in place you can ride it in two positions. Skiers, yoga enthusiasts and beginners straddle the dowel and snow/skate/wake/surf boarders set the dowel along the length of the board – directly under foot.

Balance boards are used by the NFL, the US Olympic team, NHL and other professional and elite sports organizations. They’re used to help avoid injuries and to help people recover from injuries. Grab one, start on a rug or grass in the straddle position and you’ll soon realize the benefit on the slopes, in the waves or wherever you put balance and core strength to the test.

In the original Bad Boys (1983), while doing time in juvie, Paco Moreno (Esai Morales) had a hard-on for Michael ‘Mick’ O’Brien (Sean Penn). Not in the ‘gay for the stay’ way, but to avenge the accidental death of Paco’s little brother.

In the end, street smarts and a pillow case full of soda cans compensated for Mick’s skinny physique. Had Mick known about the Prison Yard Workout he could have bulked up and prevented any unpleasant confrontation through sheer intimidation – hulking muscles ready to burst out of his pasty Irish skin.

In a few maximum and most medium security prisons, inmates have access to weight lifting equipment that even law abiding citizens can’t afford (even gym memberships). Not only do opponents feel this is unfair, but they also fear that when these inmates are released they’re more intimidating and more capable of inflicting harm than ever before.

The truth however, is that even without equipment, prisoners find ways to build the strength and muscle mass necessary to survive their environment. Prison Yard Workout promises you will “Get the body of an inmate without doing 5 to 10,” and without the use of equipment or expensive gym memberships. Actual ex-cons will teach you their workout secrets on a DVD that contains over 30 workouts to target arms, chest, back, shoulders, legs and abs.

I’ve not been incarcerated, nor have I tried the DVD. But if you believe in second chances, want to have the body of an inmate, or want (as Darnay T says in their testimonials) to “attract the ladies,” then either commit a heinous crime or buy the DVD. Just don’t be like Mick and don’t be nobodies bitch.