The people at ROM stand-by their claim that 4 minutes a day on their CrossTrainer is all you need to stay in peak cardiovascular shape. A ‘lengthy technical explanation’ backs up this claim, but if you’re stubborn and still don’t believe them just have a read through all their marketing pain points. Whereas most companies would address these points behind the scenes and present you with cleverly written copy and glossy images, ROM lays it all out there in a flourish of humility.

The ROM will last 80,000 uses – that’s 219 years (the warranty will only get you 5-10 however, hmmm). ROM does the new math and came up with 250. In fairness they only recommend 4 days a week (equal to 15 minutes) but for $14,615 – I intend to get my money’s worth. After I re-mortgage my house and get one of these babies I’ll be breathing all the 60mlO2/kg/min that you no longer need because you already died… 130 years ago. I better get two so I can put the other in my vacation home on Mars.

Judging by their Web site, it doesn’t look like ROM has moved many CrossTrainers. Surely people have accepted their findings and were willing to lay down their $14,615 right? Can’t we raise enough money to buy ROM a paragraph break? No, my bad, it turns out those long paragraphs are an insanely clever intimidation tactic to dissuade the visitor from actually reading – pure brilliance.

If I only had 4 minutes for a workout, then clearly I don’t have time to read the Web site. But I suffered through it for you, my loyal readers who don’t have 1 minute to leave a comment (yeah, I said it).

I don’t claim to be an expert, just a guy with no particular interest to rush my workouts. I workout to relieve stress; the stress of rushing around and never having a moment to appreciate what’s around me. If you have a lot less time and a lot more money then go for it. After all the ‘described delivery/installation process goes very smoothly 85% of the time.’

Since its launch several months ago, the Nintendo Wii has received some negative press for folks who hurt themselves, others or inanimate objects. The site Wiihaveaproblem.com tracks the carnage, which includes kids getting accidentally smacked by family members, a dislocated knee, twisted ankles, cuts and contusions.

It’s not all bad news for Wii owners. Twenty one hours of Wii ‘training’ over a six week period (15 minutes per session) helped this guy lose 9 pounds, drop about 2% body fat, lower BMI by 1.2 and lower resting heart rate 14bps. According to the less scientific Wii Fitness Age (WFA), the subject started at age 46 and was as young as 20 during the testing period. The WFA measures speed, balance and stamina using three random sports tests.

This carefully conducted experiment was well documented along the way and reveals which games burn the most calories. Boxing burned the most calories, at approximately 500 calories an hour. For comparison, actual real-life boxing burns calories at about twice the rate. Consider though, that no one is punching you in the face (usually).

I’ll stick to traditional workouts myself, but why not double-up those workouts with some productive gaming? Time to put on the tennis shirts, headband and Rod Lavers. Here is a time lapse of the 6 week Wii workout…

https://youtube.com/watch?v=F3vmRcS71NY

Balance sports have always been a passion of mine. Skateboarding, snowboarding and climbing (which has just as much to do with balance as it does strength and agility). Slack lining is a great way to develop balance and core strength, but there are myriad other ways including balance boards.

Growing up, my bestest buddy Jason had a Bongo board. The both of us took a few spills in the garage, but eventually couldn’t be budged off the damned thing. Flash forward 15 years later and I’m living in Newport, RI – home of the Rolo Board. Everyone in Newport knew about them and the inside joke was a Rolo Board sticker was as good as a parking pass (Newport being a tourist trap, the police generate a windfall from parking tickets).

One Fall President Clinton was in town and I was lucky enough to meet him. As he worked his way down the meet-and-greet line, I saw people give him small gifts. I deftly searched my pockets (no reason to alarm the secret service) looking for something – anything to give WJC. I had a fresh stack of Rolo stickers – my friend Scamp was tight with the guy making the Rolos – so I handed one to the President explaining the importance of the sticker – what with it being from a local small business and all.

“Watch this,” he told me. “Somebody give me a Sharpie!” The White House photographer produced a Sharpie in an instant and our 42nd president signed the sticker with a flourish. We posed together, with me holding the Rolo sticker next to the man who wasn’t bad at balancing a budget. I gave the sticker to Scamp so he could give it to his friend. I thought it would be a cool and he might pin-it-up on the wall. The next day I had a brand new Rolo board as thanks.

The Rolo board was a big improvement from the Bongo of yore (note: Bongo makes modern versions now as well). With a concave deck and upturned nose/tail as well as bungees that hold the dowel in place you can ride it in two positions. Skiers, yoga enthusiasts and beginners straddle the dowel and snow/skate/wake/surf boarders set the dowel along the length of the board – directly under foot.

Balance boards are used by the NFL, the US Olympic team, NHL and other professional and elite sports organizations. They’re used to help avoid injuries and to help people recover from injuries. Grab one, start on a rug or grass in the straddle position and you’ll soon realize the benefit on the slopes, in the waves or wherever you put balance and core strength to the test.

In the original Bad Boys (1983), while doing time in juvie, Paco Moreno (Esai Morales) had a hard-on for Michael ‘Mick’ O’Brien (Sean Penn). Not in the ‘gay for the stay’ way, but to avenge the accidental death of Paco’s little brother.

In the end, street smarts and a pillow case full of soda cans compensated for Mick’s skinny physique. Had Mick known about the Prison Yard Workout he could have bulked up and prevented any unpleasant confrontation through sheer intimidation – hulking muscles ready to burst out of his pasty Irish skin.

In a few maximum and most medium security prisons, inmates have access to weight lifting equipment that even law abiding citizens can’t afford (even gym memberships). Not only do opponents feel this is unfair, but they also fear that when these inmates are released they’re more intimidating and more capable of inflicting harm than ever before.

The truth however, is that even without equipment, prisoners find ways to build the strength and muscle mass necessary to survive their environment. Prison Yard Workout promises you will “Get the body of an inmate without doing 5 to 10,” and without the use of equipment or expensive gym memberships. Actual ex-cons will teach you their workout secrets on a DVD that contains over 30 workouts to target arms, chest, back, shoulders, legs and abs.

I’ve not been incarcerated, nor have I tried the DVD. But if you believe in second chances, want to have the body of an inmate, or want (as Darnay T says in their testimonials) to “attract the ladies,” then either commit a heinous crime or buy the DVD. Just don’t be like Mick and don’t be nobodies bitch.

There are about 650 named muscles in the human body (personally, I have 651 when you include Vitamin-L, a/k/a the Vanilla Love Log, but I digress).

In addition to named muscles, there are at least twice that amount in unnamed muscles. All muscles fall into three categories; skeletal, smooth and cardiac. Some muscles we can control (skeletal for instance) and others work involuntarily (e.g. smooth muscles like in the lining of the intestines and cardiac to make your heart beat).

When it comes to muscles resistance is not futile, it’s how we develop strength and endurance. Resistance training can be applied to the diaphragm, the dome shaped muscle under the rib cage that works in conjunction with our lungs so we can breathe.

While working at the DEMA (Dive Equipment Manufacturers Association) Show in Las Vegas last year, I tried a product that promised to develop my breathing. It looked like a runt snorkle and when I wore it felt at times like I was breathing through a cocktail straw.

The POWERbreathe is very similar to what I used at DEMA. When used for a few minutes twice daily, the Powerbreathe forces your inspiratory muscles to work harder, increasing both breathing strength and endurance.

Available in three models, the Powerbreathe works your diaphragm and lungs at adjustable levels. The ‘Wellness’ model is ideal for asthmatics, the elderly or anyone with a respiratory condition. The ‘Fitness’ model is for most of us, recreational runners, cyclists, gym rats, etc. The ‘Sports Performance’ model is for the more serious athlete-in-training and offers the most resistance and therefore greatest benefit.

If you’re looking for strong breath have some garlic, eat a hot dog with everything, smoke a stoggie and don’t bother brushing those stumps in your mouth. If you’re looking to breathe stronger, give Powerbreathe a go.